Even in Death We Do Not Part: The Violence of Widowhood Rites

Image from Unsplash.

Estimated number of women and girls affected: ~24 million in Africa

Violence against women exists on a spectrum that stretches across the private and public spheres of life. In many societies, this violence is embedded within institutions that are otherwise seen as culturally legitimate, including marriage practices and traditions that govern relationships between men and women.

In my PhD thesis, I examined cultural marriage practices such as lobola (bride price) and the ways in which they shape gender relations within marriage. My conclusion was clear: lobola itself is not inherently a form of violence. However, the social interpretations surrounding it can create rigid gender roles, reinforce beliefs of male entitlement and ownership over women’s lives and bodies, and sustain deeply asymmetrical power relations.

For example, the belief that once a man has paid lobola he gains decision-making authority over reproductive choices; such as when or how many children a couple should have, effectively strips women of agency within marriage.

While discussions about violence in marriage have gained greater visibility, another dimension of violence remains largely under-researched and insufficiently addressed: widowhood rites.

Widowhood Rites: An Invisible Form of Violence

Violence against women that is perpetrated or aggravated through widowhood rites is rarely investigated and often goes undocumented. Many women do not recognize these practices as violence because they are normalized as cultural obligations that must be respected and preserved.

In other cases, women are coerced into performing these rites during a period of intense emotional vulnerability, shortly after the death of their husbands.

Widowhood rites are tied to prescribed gender roles that are reinforced by institutionalized cultural and religious norms. These norms are often supported by discriminatory social sanctions. When women refuse to perform such rites, they may face ostracism, accusations, or loss of social support.

Importantly, these expectations are rarely imposed on men. In many societies especially polygamous ones, men are not subjected to equivalent rituals after the death of their wives. This disparity highlights the broader patriarchal structures that govern social expectations for women and men.

Violence Across the Life Course

Gender-discriminatory cultural practices exist across a continuum that begins at birth and follows women throughout their lives. From harmful practices in childhood (such as breast ironing, which I discussed in a previous blog), to adulthood and marriage, and ultimately widowhood, women experience intersecting forms of violence at every stage of their existence.

This reality is reflected in global statistics. According to UN Women, one in three women worldwide will experience physical or sexual violence by an intimate partner or non-partner during their lifetime.

As a scholar and practitioner working on violence against women, I believe this statistic likely underestimates the true scale of the problem. If we accounted for the full spectrum of violence, including culturally sanctioned practices such as widowhood rites the figure would likely approach nearly all women experiencing some form of violence against their person in their lifetime.

The Social Downgrading of Widows

The death of a husband often triggers a dramatic shift in a woman’s social status. In many societies, a woman’s legitimacy and respectability are tied to her association with a male partner. When that association ends through death, the social recognition afforded to her can disappear as well.

This loss of status frequently leads to diminished economic security, reduced social support, and increased exposure to multiple forms of violence.

Widowhood rites manifest in different forms across cultural contexts. Some of the most common and harmful practices include the following.

 1. Forced Marriage and Widow Inheritance

Widow inheritance is practiced in several African cultural communities. In these cases, a widow is expected or compelled to marry a male relative of her deceased husband in order to keep wealth and lineage within the family.

In many situations, the widow has little or no meaningful choice in the matter. While some Zimbabwean communities allow the widow to symbolically choose a relative, such as by offering him water or washing his hands. The social pressure to conform remains immense.

These practices can subject women to continued sexual relations without genuine consent and expose them to ongoing violence within marriage. They also place women at serious health risks. Widows often have no ability to request health information or negotiate sexual safety, leaving them vulnerable to diseases such as HIV.

In some communities, widowhood rituals can be even more extreme. In parts of Igbo culture, for example, a ritual known as Aja-Ani reportedly requires a widow to engage in sexual intercourse with a priest or ritual intermediary shortly after her husband’s funeral. The act is believed to sever spiritual ties with the deceased husband.

In such rituals, the widow’s consent is considered irrelevant. In reality, these practices normalize sexual violence and perpetuate a culture of impunity.

 2. Disinheritance and Economic Violence

Inheritance practices are another major dimension of violence faced by widows.

In Magaya v. Magaya, a landmark decision by the Supreme Court of Zimbabwe, the court ruled that under customary law women could not inherit property. The court justified this discrimination by stating that such practices were consistent with the “nature of African society.”

Across many societies, widows are routinely dispossessed of property and wealth accumulated during marriage. For example, in Ashanti culture in Ghana, a deceased man’s property may pass to his sisters’ sons or nephews. Among the Anlo people in Ghana, male relatives inherit the deceased’s assets, while widows may only inherit if they have grown sons or marry one of their husband’s brothers.

These practices amount to economic coercion and structural violence. Widows can lose homes, businesses, and assets they helped build over a lifetime. Even where legal frameworks have evolved to promote gender equality, normative cultural practices continue to override legal protections, especially for women who lack access to legal resources or knowledge of their rights. In some cases, widows may even lose custody of their children if they choose to remarry outside their deceased husband’s family.

3. Humiliating and Harmful Mourning Rituals

Widows are also subjected to rituals that inflict profound psychological harm.

Reported practices include:

·      Being forced to sit on a mattress in isolation for days.

·      Being confined to a room with the deceased husband’s coffin.

·      Being required to sleep in the same room as the corpse.

·      Being subjected to humiliating accusations of witchcraft or responsibility for their husband’s death.

In some communities, widows are forced to perform degrading acts with the corpse itself. These rituals illustrate the extent to which widows lose agency after their husbands die. Refusal to comply can result in social exclusion, accusations of murder or witchcraft, and permanent stigmatization.

The mourning period itself is often imposed without the widow’s consent and can last for months or even a year. In parts of Southeast Nigeria, widows may be confined for between eight days and four months, during which their heads are shaved and they are expected to publicly mourn while enduring accusations that they caused their husband’s death through witchcraft. For many widows, these practices create a devastating psychological burden that they must carry for the rest of their lives.

When Culture Becomes Violence

There are many other widowhood rites that remain undocumented or under-reported. However, for many married African women living within deeply entrenched cultural systems, the fear of widowhood rites is real.

These practices reveal how violence against women does not end with marriage or even with the death of a spouse. Instead, women remain bound to systems of control and coercion that extend beyond the life of their husbands. In many cases, even death does not separate women from the violence embedded within normative cultural practices surrounding marriage.